The “porno-king”

…When they weren’t making fun of me for crying, other kids would call me the “porno-king” and I became the go-too guy for anybody looking for a magazine…

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Aside from Kate, I had various other crushes at that same school, all of which would go to waste and were definitely left unreciprocated. As a boarder, I also couldn’t continue my fetish of dressing up as a girl: if I was ever found out, the bullying would have become ridiculous. So that had to wait for the occasional weekend and holidays.  To compensate, I resorted to porn, and there was a very healthy illicit porn-mag trade among the boarders at the school.

Only around 30 boys boarded at the school, though the day students (of which there were around 500 or so) were both girls and boys.  The porn mag trade was particularly strong with the sixth-form students, and I definitely became a fan. We would buy “used” mags from the older kids for a few pounds or so, and by the time I left the school when I was 16, I must have had at least 20 magazines accumulated—hidden from the priests who ran the school in my wardrobe, behind one of the drawers where (as far as I was aware at least), they would never look. Discovery could mean suspension or worse. I never got expelled so I guess they didn’t find them, though I definitely got a bit of a reputation…

As well as the photos, I just kept on reading the stories in them… girls with other girls especially, and threesomes as well… all capturing my imagination regarding the sexual possibilities of life; imagining being one of the girls, or being with one of them in the stories and photos…

Fantasies that were all well beyond my reach as an overly sensitive teenager with few real friends and no confidence; with absolutely no hope of a girlfriend at that time, let alone some horny creature looking for a good time. If there was anything I wasn’t, a picture of a good time was quite high up there.

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