Controlling anxiety

I have found these last couple of days that switching my mobile phone in flight mode and forcing myself not to look at it helps me stop thinking about things, and stop my mind going round in circles. It has helped that I have had things to do on my vacation, like going out for a day trip with family and going for long walks. Occasionally when not on vacation, I leave my phone at the office when I go for lunch, or something else, so I am simply unable to look at it and so am forced to think more about other things.

…Sent a message to her last night before went to bed; she saw, but no reply either last night or this morning… I know… I KNOW…there are plenty of good reasons for this… but my head being my head starts to think negatively and irrationally, thinking the worst… what if she just doesn’t want to be with me?

Miserable day here today so not too much to do, and while I have just put the phone in flight mode again, it is difficult not to pick it up to check. Curious to know what other people do to help relax a little…??

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Relaxing a little

…And it worked. It was good being able to breathe, relax, and not get short of breath or feel my mind starting to go round in circles again…

It was a nice day today. I was able to completely distract my mind from the anxieties of the past few weeks and just enjoy being back in London. It took my mobile phone having no signal, and me deciding to just switch it to flight mode anyway, to help set me on my way with this. Plus also an exhibition at a museum that I hadn’t been to in years meant that my mind was occupied with other things…

While the thoughts of the preceding days did occasionally come into my mind, I found myself able to knock them aside and stop them from spiralling. Just concentrate on the exhibition and tell myself that there was nothing I could do, so no need to think about things. And it worked. It was good being able to breathe, relax, and not get short of breath or feel my mind starting to go round in circles again.

When I left the museum and switched my phone back into normal mode at around 2pm, the girl I’ve been seeing had indeed left a couple of WhatsApp messages. It was nice to hear her voice again and it certainly helped as the day progressed. Otherwise I could(/would) have just kept thinking about her and why she might not have replied to me the entire time; always wanting to look at the phone in case she sent a message. (Like I am starting to do as I type as I just sent a message that hasn’t been received yet… of course, plenty of rational and good reasons that could explain it, but so difficult to keep my head rational and not thinking negatively.) Thankfully this wasn’t the case during the day and I was actually able to enjoy myself for once.

With that, I was able to just walk along the River Thames, from Greenwich to London Bridge; one of my favourite walks in any city. Just enjoying a cool, fresh and calm winter’s afternoon and the sights of the riverside walkway. It was nice as well–none of those thoughts of disappearing came into my head as I looked into the water.

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