It was a nice day today. I was able to completely distract my mind from the anxieties of the past few weeks and just enjoy being back in London. It took my mobile phone having no signal, and me deciding to just switch it to flight mode anyway, to help set me on my way with this. Plus also an exhibition at a museum that I hadn’t been to in years meant that my mind was occupied with other things…
While the thoughts of the preceding days did occasionally come into my mind, I found myself able to knock them aside and stop them from spiralling. Just concentrate on the exhibition and tell myself that there was nothing I could do, so no need to think about things. And it worked. It was good being able to breathe, relax, and not get short of breath or feel my mind starting to go round in circles again.
When I left the museum and switched my phone back into normal mode at around 2pm, the girl I’ve been seeing had indeed left a couple of WhatsApp messages. It was nice to hear her voice again and it certainly helped as the day progressed. Otherwise I could(/would) have just kept thinking about her and why she might not have replied to me the entire time; always wanting to look at the phone in case she sent a message. (Like I am starting to do as I type as I just sent a message that hasn’t been received yet… of course, plenty of rational and good reasons that could explain it, but so difficult to keep my head rational and not thinking negatively.) Thankfully this wasn’t the case during the day and I was actually able to enjoy myself for once.
With that, I was able to just walk along the River Thames, from Greenwich to London Bridge; one of my favourite walks in any city. Just enjoying a cool, fresh and calm winter’s afternoon and the sights of the riverside walkway. It was nice as well–none of those thoughts of disappearing came into my head as I looked into the water.