With the new high school, I started going to nightclubs with my sisters and getting hideously drunk at them, and crying at the end when nobody made out with me before it closed. The one time I did make out with someone at a club when I was with them and I was so drunk I almost fell over with the girl in my arms and my tongue down her throat. She went on her own way after that, leaving me to stumble back to my table.
Drunk, depressive, anxious about whether or not girls would like me… I guess I wasn’t the best company for my sisters but they put up with me. I remember one time at a club with one sister and I was feeling a bit down and to cheer up she and her friends started singing “Cheer up sleepy Jean”, just replacing Jean with my name… That was at a New Years’ Eve party at The Carlton Nightclub in Morecambe… I remember the place but I can’t remember leaving; apparently I was pretty bad and throwing up everywhere, crying again.
But I digress… Neither was I great company when I wasn’t with my sisters. Once at a pub where almost everybody in the year went along for a night out, I decided to drink a small bottle of vodka beforehand to get in the mood, and continue drinking shots at the bar. I woke up the afternoon on the day after, hungover of course, with very little memory. Apparently my dad had to collect me from the hospital at 3am as I had collapsed and was found rolling on the grass drifting in and out of consciousness, moaning “take me to a fucking hospital”
Things started to pick up when I was 17 and a friend introduced me to a single girl who he knew: Kate. We got on well enough. It is so long ago now that it is difficult to remember so much, though we did end up making out and on the second date I lost my virginity to her. It wasn’t great. She stayed over at my place and slept in the loft (we had a loft conversion) and I was in a bedroom on the floor below. At 1am I snuck upstairs to be with her, trying to be quiet so as not to wake my parents (who were in the room directly beneath the loft area). The floor of her room did creak so when we were doing it, we had to be as quiet as possible. Plus there wasn’t so much headroom so there wasn’t really room to be very adventurous. All very awkward and not really very pleasant or fun, but still… first times rarely are really, no? The girl called me a couple of days later saying that she didn’t want a relationship – she was “hung up about her ex”, so I guess she didn’t really enjoy it either.